Quite an Awkward Situation
by David Najarian
Summary: TWEWY pairings galore. You tell me the pairing, I tell you the story. No yaoi or yuri here, it's safe. Please review as the story depends upon it. A pretty sappy fic with a high dose of crack. On hiatus.
1. Prologue

_David Najarian: Hey, 'sup. I jus' wanna say, I don't own TWEWY._

_Neku: You kidnapped me! Of course you don't own me!_

_DN: Shu' up! Anyway, I've got the whole TWEWY gang here, and I'mma put 'em in weird pairings tha' you tell meh, ya hear?!_

_Rhyme: What? You told me you were going to treat me to ice cream?_

_Beat: Whyou talkin' like me, 'Vid?_

_DN: Shup, guys, we waitin' fer some 'views now. Oh, I'mma tell ya now, no yaoi or yuri in this, foo'!_

_Neku: Damn straight. I swear to God, anyone who says NekuxJoshua will be killed._

_Beat: Or BeatxRhyme!_

_Shiki: I see your spell check is giving you hell there. Maybe you should speak good English._

_DN: Shup! I'mma piledrive yo' face into the ground, bitch! 'Nyway, you 'view the fic, speak me a couple; I turn it to a story. It dun't hafta be in the main cast. Oh, and I din't say nothing' 'bout keeping' it clean._

_Neku, Joshua, Shiki, Rhyme, Beat: What?!_

_DN: But now I am! I mean you cin have 'em kiss 'n stuff, but nuthin durty._

_Neku: Please don't do any REALLY weird pairings, please!_

_DN: Shup, Neku! Don' listen ta him, folks!_

_Rhyme: You know, people on Fan fiction .net frown on short chapters._

_DN: They do!? Crap! Uh, well, Uuuuhhh…and now, the fiblious JOSHUA DANCERS!_

_Joshua: -Starts dancing because of my admin power- HELP!_

_Sho: That is a zetta stupid dance! -dances-_

_DN: Um…that's all, folks! So…'view!_


	2. JoshuaxRhyme

_Neku: -From other room- Hey D, you got any energy drinks in the fridge?!_

_DN: Shup Nex, we got a 'view!_

_Rhyme: Shit._

_Beat: Bwaaaaagh! Rhyme CUSSED, yo!_

_Shiki: Oh no…here we go…_

_Joshua: Crap! Now will you please let me stop doing this ridiculous dance?_

_Sho: Factor me with Mitsuki K, she's one __**HOT**__ yoctogram!_

_DN: Oh yeah, thank fer remindin' me, Sho, alla youse had better get yer suggicions out now, so the read's now what you want!_

_-All characters blush except Sho-_

_Neku: Hmmmm…me and…Shiki_

_-Shiki gasps-_

_Joshua: Me and Yuu Narumi._

_Neku: She's a little old for you…_

_DN: I has supleme powers, yo, I can do anything! I'mma make her fall for ya when a reader says to!_

_Shiki: -Embarrassed at Neku's- S-same as Neku's._

_Rhyme: Me and…Joshua._

_-Joshua's eyes meet Rhyme's, they both blush deeper-_

_Beat: Me an' Mina!_

_DN: Aight! One last thing 'fore the 'view; do I own TWEWY?_

_All: No._

_DN: 'Xactly. Aight, so the first 'view is from KitsuneHi344. It says:_

"This seems like it would be a very good random pairing thing, and probably the first one i would ever read. anyway, do a JoshuaxRhyme one, that's my favorite pairing, second only to NekuxShiki._" Aight, foo's! Le's make it happen!_

_-Rhyme smiles-_

_Neku: *Sarcastically* This oughtta be good._

_Shiki: Neku!_

_Sho: Hope ya multiply with 'chother tonight_

_-Everyone looks at Sho-_

_Everyone: O_o_

_-Beat smacks Sho-_

_Rhyme: Um…thanks, Kitsune…I guess…_

_Joshua: Woah, sorry, my wallet's empty, I can't take you out tonight…_

_-Joshua makes a break for the door-_

_-I block it-_

_DN: Naw so fas'! Youse takin' Rhyme out tonight, and youse gonna LIKE IT…_

_-I take out a gun-_

_Ya hear?!_

_Joshua:…K…_

_DN: I'mma put money in your wallet. I'z gonna turn the rest u' us invisibs, so we can watch!_

_Joshua: So…Rhyme…where do you want to go…?_

_Rhyme: Um…_

_-Blushing from Sho's statement-_

_j-just Ramen Don._

_-Joshua smiles-_

_Joshua: Okay._

_DN: Tha' rest a' us is goin ghost now, so…yeah._

_-Everyone besides Joshua and Rhyme turns invisible-_

_Beat: Ah' swear, if you lay a FINGER on Rhyme's __**PLACE**__ I'mma KILL you!_

_-Joshua and Rhyme are flustered-_

_Joshua: I-I won't!_

_Beat: Good!_

_Rhyme: Um…uh…we should…hold hands…_

_Joshua: Yeah_

_-Holds Rhyme's hand-_

_Lets go._

_-Walking up Dogenzaka-_

_Joshua: Well…here we are._

_Rhyme: Um…thanks for walking me here._

_Joshua: No problem!_

_-Rhyme kisses Joshua on the cheek-_

_-Joshua turns a deep red-_

_-Joshua and Rhyme step inside-_

_Ken Doi: Hey kids! What'll it be?_

_Rhyme and Joshua simultaneously: Miso._

_-They look at each other and blush-_

_KD: Woah! For you two, I've got the couple special!_

_Joshua: We're not-_

_-Rhyme interrupts him-_

_Rhyme: We'll take it._

_-Ken Doi takes out a huge bowl of ramen from behind the counter-_

_KD: Here ya go!_

_-Joshua & Rhyme take it over to a booth-_

_-They both start eating-_

_Joshua: So…how's life._

_Rhyme: Excellent! I've got all A's, My novel just got published, and…and I had my first date…_

_Joshua: What? With who?_

_-Rhyme blushes-_

_Rhyme- You…_

_Joshua: Well, don't worry, this is my first date too._

_Rhyme: R-really?_

_Joshua: Yes. In fact, I remember, when I was your age, no one would go out with "the prissy kid"._

_-Beat snickers-_

_Rhyme: Oh, well…Beat won't let me go out with anyone…besides, I doubt anyone would go out with me…_

_-Beat shuts up-_

_-Rhyme sighs-_

_Joshua: I would._

_-Rhyme finishes her part of the ramen-_

_-Rhyme is in shock-_

_Rhyme: Wh-what?_

_Neku: KISS!_

_DN: Shup!_

_KD: What was that?_

_Joshua: You're a perfect girl. You can do anything you want to with your life._

_Neku: KISS!_

_DN: SHUP, NEX! I'MMA KILL YOU!_

_Beat: I'MMA JOIN IN!_

_KD: The hell?!_

_-Beat and I beat the crap out of Neku-_

_-Joshua and Rhyme kiss passionately-_

_-This is the part where you stop reading if you want to believe that Joshua and Rhyme lived happily ever after-_

_Sho: That was zetta hot!_

_Neku: The hell?! You some kind of pedophile? _

_Beat: THA'S IT, PRISSY! YOUSE GOIN' DOWN!_

_KD: What the f*ck is going on?!_

_DN: THIS ONE'S OVER!_

_-Suddenly, everyone is back at my apartment-_

_DN: Aight, Josh._

_-I snap-_

_Joshua: What. The. Hell. D, why'd you put a love spell on me?_

_Rhyme: Wh-what? You mean…you were forced to say all that?_

_DN: I DID 'CAUSE YOU WOULDN'T A' LOVED 'ER IF AH DIN'T!_

_Joshua: I WOULD HAVE! I just would have been more sarcastic!_

_-Rhyme cries-_

_-Beat tackles Joshua-_

_Beat: First ya kiss Rhyme, then ya break 'er heart! I swear to God, you make Rhyme shed tears, I'mma make you shed blood!_

_Joshua: This all your fault, D!_

_DN: My fault?! You wanna say that again?!_

_Joshua: Yeah! This is ALL YOUR FAULT!_

_DN: Aight, hoped ya liked it, Kitsune._

_-Beat beats Joshua-_

_So, read's, 'view sommore!_


	3. BeatxEri

_A/N: I will do repeats of couples. But only if different people ask for it every time. And I won't do the same one twice in a row._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_-4:32 PM-_

_Mrs. Najarian: Oh, Davy, are these your_

_-She stares at Sho-_

_friends?_

_David Najarian: Uh…yeeeeeaaaaaah. Hey guys, do I own TWEWY?_

_Everyone: No._

_-MN leaves-_

_DN: I'm just going to stop speaking gangsta. It's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay harder to type than speak or read._

_Neku: What!? You mean you were just putting that on?!_

_DN: Yeah._

_-Rhyme is still crying because Joshua was being a sunuvabitch-_

_-Beat is still killing Joshua for it-_

_-Neku has a black eye from when Beat and I beat him up-_

_MN: Oh, okay, I'll just go and make some curry. Eri's family and Mr. Hanekoma are coming over tonight and I want to have a top-notch meal for them._

_DN: Aight, Mom._

_-I check my me-mail (that is NOT a typo)-_

_DN: Heyyy, we've gotten another request._

_-I smile evilly-_

_And it matches up with tonight's schedule purrrrrrfectly._

_Ahem, it's from PMiller1: "_Not Bad, Um... I like to see an Beat and (And Sorry Beat) Eri...Oh And we all (or Just I) would like to a SotaXNao-Nao, No One haven't really done that.".

_Beat: Bwaaaaagh! But I didn't say to pair me with HER!_

_Neku: Ooh, zing!_

_-Beat stops killing Joshua-_

_DN: I don't care. If a reader says to, so be it._

_Joshua: *Wheezing* I'm really sorry Rhyme._

_Rhyme: No, you're not!_

_DN: Anyway, you've got until 7:30 to prepare._

_Beat: Urg!_

_-A timer appears on Beat's palm-_

_DN: Tick tock… :P_

_Rhyme: *Stops crying* Don't worry, Beat. I'm sure you won't lose your date…like I did…_

_MN: Oh, and did I mention that Mr. Hanekoma will arrive any minute now? He said that he got his car towed and he was going to walk here before it got dark._

_Beat: Whew. He'll help me!_

_Neku: Mr. H eats dinner at YOUR house sometimes?! I should visit you more often._

_DN: My God! I just realized! Where's Sho?!_

_Shiki: Beat, here's a Tweed Gentleman! Put it on, and let's find Sho._

_-7:22-_

_DN: I can't believe we couldn't find Sho…_

_Mr. H: Keep your chin up, boss, I'm sure he'll turn up._

_-Neku is looking out the window-_

_Neku: Beat, your date has arrived. The Utsukushii family just pulled up._

_-A/N Utsukushii=beautiful in Japanese. I totally made that last name up at this very second since Eri doesn't have an official last name.-_

_Beat: Crap, man! Whaddo I say? How do I act?_

_-Knocks at the door-_

_Lucine Najarian (Another author on Fan fiction, but in real life, she's my sister): I'll get it!_

_All of the Utsukushiis, simultaneously: Hello! How are you doing, Luce?_

_LN: Very well, thank you._

_-Eri walks over to us-_

_Eri: Hey, D, Neku, Mr. Hanekoma, Beat in a tux, Shiki, Rhyme, and…Metro Kid._

_-A/N: If you got that joke, rock on-_

_Joshua: HEY!_

_DN: Hey Eri._

_Mr. H: How's life, Eri?_

_Eri: Just fine, thanks._

_Mr. U: Hello, Davy._

_DN: Good to see you, Mr. Utsukushii! And you too, Mrs. Utsukushii._

_DN: Hey everyone: let's go chill in my room, k?_

_Everyone besides Mr. H, Mr. and Mrs. Utsukushii, and the other Najarians: Okay!_

_-In my room- _

_Beat: So, Eri. Wha's been up with you lately?_

_Eri: Not much, why?_

_Beat: Uh, I was jus' curpulous. Uuuuhhh…so…are you busy later this week?_

_Eri: Are you…hitting on me?_

_Neku: Maybe._

_Beat: Sorta._

_Shiki: Kinda._

_DN: Yeah_

_Eri: No…so…_

_Beat: You wanna go to tha movies or something…?_

_Eri: Yeah. That'd be bomb!_

_Neku: *Disguised with a cough* You scored, Beat!_

_Beat: Whatchu say?_

_Neku: Nothing, I just coughed.=)_

_DN: So…I guess that makes you two going out…_

_Beat: Yeah…_

_-Neku snickers-_

_Eri: Waaaiiit…did you guys set this up?_

_All: No!_

_Eri: Yes you did!_

_Neku: No, I swear we didn't!_

_Eri: You're lying!_

_Rhyme: We didn't!_

_Eri: I trust you, Rhyme. Okay._

_Joshua: You two should kiss to seal the deal._

_Eri: Al…right…Metro Kid._

_Joshua: Shut up!_

_Neku: Wow, Josh! I didn't know you had it in you!_

_-Beat and Eri kiss-_

_-Mrs. Utsukushii opens the door-_

_Mrs. U: Eri!_

_DN: Epic phail!_

_Mrs. U: What are you doing?!_

_Eri: Um…nothing?_

_Mrs. U: We're going home!_

_Eri: But Mom-_

_Mrs. U: Butts are for cigarettes!_

_-The world pauses-_

_DN: I'm just gonna memory wipe you, Mrs. Utsukushii, aight? Aight!_

_-Memory wipes her-_

_-I unfreeze Beat and Eri-_

_Get away from each other so it doesn't look like anything happened._

_-They do-_

_-I unfreeze time-_

_Mrs. U: It's time for dinner, kids!_

_All: Okay!_

_DN: Hope ya liked it, PMiller1! Okay readers! Review some more!_


	4. ShoxKonishi

_A/N: You can only request one pairing per review. And don't give me any shit like reviewing twice. Oh, and you can only (legally) post one review on my story, so you only get to request one pairing. Make your review count. I'm pretty disappointed in the last chapter. It was really bad compared to the Joyme chapter. I'm just not really inspired today. If someone else requests the pairing again, I will gladly try again._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Woah! I wasn't expecting this! *evil grin* OK, is it all right if... Sho...and...Konishi go on a romatic date or something. My zetta favorite character has to have some love I suppose? :D"

_DN: Yes it is._

_-Meanwhile elsewhere-_

_Konishi: Oh, Sho, thanks for taking me out tonight._

_Sho: No n factorial, Mitsuki._

_Konishi: We really shouldn't have come to such an expensive place._

_Sho: Nonsense, my little exponent! I have Kitaniji's credit card right here._

_-Konishi laughs-_

_Konishi: Is that really his?_

_Sho: Yeah._

_Waitress: May I take your order?_

_Sho: Um, yes I'll take the Filet Mignon._

_Konishi: Me too._

_-They both snicker-_

_Waitress: And to drink?_

_Konishi: A strawberry daiquiri._

_-Waitress walks off-_

_Sho: Anyway, as I was saying, it was totally inverse how you escaped erasure!_

_Konishi: You really think so?_

_Sho: But not as inverse as you, Mitsuki._

_Konishi: I'm not that special, you're the one who is so intelligent._

_Sho: Your calculations are never wrong, Konishi. What do you calculate about me?_

_Konishi: Beneath all of your ridiculous math speak and ambitions, there's a small vulnerable little boy._

_Sho: Cliché much?_

_Konishi: Well, it's what I forecast!_

_Sho: Gawd, D, this chapter sucks even more than the last! Why do you suddenly suck at writing so much?_

_DN: Wow. Even Sho hates this chapter. Guess I'd better end it. I guess Sho isn't meant for romance…so…sorry kindred-not…so sorry. I couldn't do it…review some more._


End file.
